“You’re too rational, you seem emotionless.”
If you’re surprised by these reproaches because you hear them more between a conversation between a woman and a man, with her shouting these things at him, here’s the reverse situation.
How did we get here?
Youth Park is beautiful in October. It’s neither too cold nor too hot, and people are walking around the alleys.
“Do you know that now I’ve put my job on the Bumble?” I say to the man I’m with. “I’ve made sure I won’t have many more matches!” We laugh tearfully.
Bumble, the dating app I’ve been on for five months, is testing and keeps changing buttons, rewards, nudges. One consequence is that I do not know who is giving me matches. Or maybe I don’t have so many since I realized I’ve applied the principles of marketing and behavioral economics… in dating.
Whose reproaches are the above?
Ultra-Learning or Immersive Learning
I recently started reading a book about ultra-learning. It’s about how the author, Scott Young, and others have learned things from computer science to oriental languages quickly. Because I need to know many areas in my job as a Behaviour Designer and Growth Hacker, from psychology to economics, from copywriting to marketing, from business to UX and sales, I need to learn quickly and efficiently.
The man I’m with is a former data. I mean, we met through Bumble; We’ve discussed everything but relationships. About everything meaning… physics. Being a physicist, I bombarded him with questions and that made our conversation very rich.
Not just him, but others I’ve met before, have had and still need to take time, shorter or longer, to learn about themselves. Here I’m referring to what they want from a relationship. Just sitting and reflecting on it won’t reveal much.
We know the confusion after a breakup when you don’t know who you are anymore and you have to take time to get to know yourself, build your self-esteem, accept yourself for who you are, and move on.