In the mind of a person with an anxious attachment style when dating

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I’m sitting on the edge of the bed. The room is boiling. I think obsessively about him, even if my rational brain part knows that he doesn’t want me.

A guy is supposed to want you, no? Well, when you are an anxious attachment style and meet an avoidant attachment style, things are not that easy.

I would love them easily, as when I deal with a secure attachment style. But psychology says otherwise.

And again, Adele–I can’t make you love me — it’s on repeat.

The truth, though, is I don’t love him either. But this type of mine makes me think of him and miss him, even if we didn’t have a genuine connection. It’s just the dopamine rolling that we’ve taken as love.

A short history

Everything started a time ago when I was a child. Don’t all the fucked-ups start then? It doesn’t matter why and how. All that matter is who I become. And what I’m dealing with every day.

We are 20% of the population. Too many, too few?

25% are the avoidant type, and 50% are the secure ones. The rest are disorganized, or fearful-avoidant. A combination of me and an avoidant. How sexy is that?

As the name says, we want stuff and become very anxious about it if we don’t get it. Now, as human beings, we are anxious by nature. You see, that helped us survive. But we, with this kind of attachment, feel too much anxiety. We cross the limit of healthy anxiousness.

We become clingy. Yes. Clingy.

You are scared, ha? Read more on Medium…

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